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we have always been dead

by There Is No Light Here

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    I'm demoing out different versions of this album as a CD. I might change this up in the future and I'm hoping to create a double album in the near future.

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1.
I would have held your hand while you died Wish I could crawl backwards through time I’ve been trying to find your grave Time is tearing me away You’re a whisper I can’t hear This void is expanding It’s taking over me I need to cut it out I need to watch it bleed Wish I could pry your eyes back open Wish I could breathe your soul back inside There is no dawn there is no sun
2.
The black is creeping in again A quiet surrender Breathe from beneath Give me a single sign In the darkest abyss I return with empty hands Hands bleeding from this grip on reality Shards of glass inside my stomach I can’t feel my heart
3.
Where the sun stopped burning Where time stays frozen I still find you your soul is too far away I find myself disintegrating I can’t believe that I left you behind Turn me to stone Blind and hollow Where the world is burning Where my soul is frozen I still find you Your soul is too far away I feel myself vanishing
4.
Oh god let me fall Where the stars don’t burn A black hole that won’t stop growing What has happened to my soul Clouds in my memories, I still can’t find you Rain in my lungs, I still scream for you A hole inside My whole world collapses

about

WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN DEAD is a record to help me cope with my close friend's suicide. Over half my life later and I still have panic attacks thinking about it.

I still can't put it entirely into words. I still can't put it entirely to music. This is as close as it gets right now.

I still miss my friend every day. In some ways, this is my only way of preserving her memory. I can't let it feel like she never existed.

credits

released May 27, 2022

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There Is No Light Here New Hampshire

THERE IS NO LIGHT HERE is Anti-Suicide Black Metal.

I am focused on suicide awareness and the effects it has on those living in its shadow.

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